I wasn’t going to say anything about this. I was going to just let it go by. Let guys think that the “friend zone” is totally our fault. Because apparently, ladies are the ones who put the guys in the friend zone. But I keep seeing this graphic everywhere.
So here we go.
Guys, here’s my brotip:
i know the graphic isn’t great
To put it bluntly: if you haven’t asked the girl out (or told her how you feel), then don’t whine about the friend zone.
I get it. Rejection sucks. No one wants to put themselves out there and get turned down. But if you never put yourself out there, you will never escape the friend zone.
There are a couple of ways guys get stuck in the friend zone.
- The guy and girl have been friends since they were kids. Now the guy likes the girl, but she only sees him as a friend.
- The guy and girl became friends while she was in a relationship with someone else. Now she is single, but the guy is too afraid to tell her how he feels.
- The guy befriends the girl because he likes her and is too afraid to actually ask her out. The girl assumes friendship is all he is looking for.
I don’t care what your situation is. The only way out is to tell her how you feel.
“But what if I ruin our friendship? I can’t lose her as a friend.”
This is a risk vs reward situation. Yes, you are risking a lot. Your friendship may not survive. (I’ve dealt with the friend zone a few times. Some friendships survived it, some didn’t. We all came out the other side relatively unscathed either way.) But the reward is so worth the risk!
If you are stuck in the friend zone, stop whining and do something about it.
And for future reference, there is an easy way to avoid the friend zone entirely.
Just ask her out!
Can’t we just make things easier on us all and be honest? If you like a girl, ask her on a date. An actual date, not some vague coffee/drink thing. See, this friend zone thing works both ways. Some of us ladies have had a guy ask us out on what we thought was a date. He took us to lunch, chatted and flirted, and picked up the check. But then he insisted that it wasn’t a date – he thought it was just a friends thing. So now we always assume that vagueness = friendship.
If you like the girl, ask her out. I know it is rough, but just do it. Pick up the phone and call her. Or do it in person. (You are already taking a big step here, ok? Avoid texts/FB messages. Trust me.)
So what do you think? Have you ever been stuck in the friend zone? Or have you had a friend confess their feelings to you?
I think that “Just Do It” should be the motto of the dating scene, not just for sneakers. I hate the friend zone, but somehow practically every guy I know has spent some time there. Sometimes I have the courage to tell them, but not as often as I should. Sigh.
That is a great idea!
As a guy, and a frequenter of the friend zone, this is a lot harder to do than it seems. It’s easy to ask a girl out if you aren’t all that close to her, but once you get to be friends, it becomes nearly impossible (for me at least). The friendship has so much value that it is hard to risk losing that. But, perhaps next time that I find myself stuck in the friend zone, I’ll remember this and just go for it.
I know it is tough! I’ve been on both sides of the friend zone, and you are right, it can be nearly impossible to escape. But I still think we would all benefit by being more proactive and just going for it!