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Undecided

November 6, 2012 in Intentional - One Word 2012 with 5 Comments

I was a fresh-faced college freshman the first time I voted in a presidential election. I wore my “George Bush is my Homeboy” shirt as I went door to door, hanging Bush-Cheney 04 bags on the door knobs. That year I votes straight-line Republican on my absentee ballot.

Four years later, I filled out another absentee ballot. At twenty-two, I was no longer a staunch conservative Republican. Those four years of college opened my eyes a bit. I voted based on the candidate, not their political affiliation. I did vote for McCain over Obama, though I had little enthusiasm for either candidate.

Another four years have passed. I’ve been out of college for a few years, worked in a large office, and am now self-employed. I’m more aware than ever of how much I pay in taxes (that happens when you have to sit down and write out a check to the IRS every three months). I just obtained my own health insurance plan, and I’m acutely aware of the gender bias in that area. (For the record, I’m paying about $50 more a month than a man does for the same level of coverage – and that does not cover any sort of maternity plan, so that isn’t the reason for the disparity.)

But more than that, at twenty-six I’ve seen a bit more of life. Things aren’t as black and white as they once were. It’s easy to be against gay marriage when you don’t personally know anyone who is unable to marry the one they love because the government doesn’t allow it.  It’s easy to support anti-abortion laws when you don’t look at the fine print and realize it could be taking away a woman’s right to a D&C when she loses her baby due to a miscarriage, or taking away a woman’s ability to seek infertility treatment. (Not that I necessarily support abortion, mind you. I just cannot support the crazy legislation that has been brought forward to stop it.)

Today will be the first time I ever go into a polling station and vote in person for a president. And to be perfectly honest, I’m still not 100% sure who I’m voting for. I don’t think either candidate is evil. I don’t think either candidate has been specifically chosen by God for this position. I think these are two imperfect men who, if elected or re-elected, will do what they think is best for this country - though I may not always agree.

I know some people think I’m crazy to still be undecided today. And I know that really, my vote here in Oklahoma isn’t going to matter either way. Romney will win this state by a landslide.

But it matters to me. Maybe that’s why I’m still undecided. Because this really is an important decision.

So I’m going to spend a little more time this morning thinking and praying. I’m going to do more research on the state questions and local candidates. And eventually I’m going to make the short drive to my designated polling station and cast my vote.

On Camping: Part Deux

September 17, 2012 in Intentional - One Word 2012, J Bryant Loves...or Not with Comments Off

Almost four months after writing my first post On Camping, I actually went camping. Of course, I didn’t think to take a picture of the tent! But we stayed near a lake in northwestern Oklahoma (well, NW OK if you don’t count the panhandle. And let’s be honest, I tend to not count it…). We didn’t spend much time at the camping location, though. It was a chilly weekend, so unless we wanted to fish, there weren’t many fun lake options. Plus there was a burn ban for the entire state, so no hanging out around a campfire.

We ended up spending the better part of Saturday further north at his deer lease. We drove from deer stand to deer stand checking feeders, cameras, and fences. Well, he checked those things. I read Cannery Row by Steinbeck :)

Once he wrapped things up there, we stopped at the Gloss (or Glass – apparently there is a name dispute) Mountains. I’d heard of the mesas that exist in that part of the state, but I’d never seen them. I’ve always spent most of my outdoorsy time in southern/southeastern Oklahoma, so the vast landscapes of red dirt were fairly new to me. We pretty much had the space to ourselves, so we took our time walking up and around the main mesa formation. The views were pretty spectacular.

On our way back on Sunday we stopped at this cool old bridge. Apparently he puts up with my need to stop at random places to take pictures, and I put up with his need to do make a situation as dangerous as possible. (Exhibit A: Him climbing aforementioned bridge.)

I came home to a needy little cat, piles of laundry, and a flat tire (that he aired up because he’s awesome, obviously). That’s life, isn’t it? A wonderful weekend away ends with a slap in the face back to reality.

But I went camping, y’all. For the first time, a guy actually followed through on his promise to take me camping. Gotta say, it is kinda nice to date someone who actually does what he says :)

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An Unintentional Blogging Break to Live Intentionally

September 10, 2012 in Intentional - One Word 2012 with 6 Comments

An Unintentional Blogging Break to Live Intentionally: That’s a mouthful, huh? But it’s what happened these past few weeks.

When I chose intentional as my One Word for 2012, I wasn’t really sure what that would look like. I tried being intentional with food, beauty, environment, etc. But I think being intentional with my time has made the biggest impact in my life. Some big events have happened this year, and I’ve tried to really live in those moments. When my friend got married in June, I put away my iPhone and participated. I didn’t try to Instagram all the important moments, I didn’t try to craft blog posts in my head. I just enjoyed living it! And when my little sister got married last month, I tried to do the same. Ok, I did a little more Instagramming that time. (She got married in Key West, how could I not?) But once the sun set after her ceremony, I kept my iPhone in my purse and danced with her and her new family. (And if you’re really interested in seeing pictures, on Facebook you can actually see the picture that the photographer snapped just after the strap on my bridesmaid dress broke!)

And a few weeks ago, I met someone. As they so often say, I wasn’t really expecting it. I was at a country bar with friends, one that we go to fairly regularly to dance, and my friend pointed out one of the bull riders. (Yes, they have live bull riding at this bar/club.) I’d noticed this guy before – he has a pink ribbon for breast cancer on the back of his vest – but I’d never spoken to him. She encouraged me to go talk to him, even promising to buy me a drink if I did. As I was working up my courage, another guy asked me to dance. I reluctantly went on the floor with him. He awkwardly held me and danced me around while I tried to keep an eye on the bull rider in the pink shirt. Finally, the song ended. I thanked the other guy, then walked over  and said hello to the bull rider.*

different night, same pink shirt :)

So that’s why I’ve been so quiet. I’ve been falling for a bull riding, firefighting, small town country guy. All that free time I had has disappeared almost overnight as I find myself driving out to his small town for an evening or having him over for dinner. My weekends have been filled with rodeos, football games, fire stations, and a visit to Ada to meet my parents. And this weekend we’re going camping! (Ahem. Remember what I said about the guy who actually takes me camping?)

But it’s been a few weeks now, and I suppose it is time to get back to blogging. I’ll just have to learn to manage my time a little better now!

*One of these days I’ll write a blog post about all the Christian dating rules I broke ;)

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Gotta Have Faith

August 22, 2012 in Intentional - One Word 2012, J Bryant Loves...or Not with 2 Comments

Every relationship is just a big honking leap of faith.

Rory is totally right. Of course, when she said it in Gilmore Girls she was talking about dating. And obvioulsy that requires a huge leap of faith, especially when you’ve been hurt before.

But I think every relationship is a big honking leap of faith.

It is a big leap of faith to trust a new friend. It’s a big leap of faith to let an old friend back into your life, especially if there was a reason they weren’t there for awhile. And yes, it’s a big leap of faith to start a new dating relationship.

It’s a big leap of faith to open yourself up to someone, whatever the context. And no matter how careful you are, there is always a chance you can get hurt. That new friend may decide they don’t really like you after all. That old friend may betray you all over again. And that guy might break your heart in new ways.

Then again, they might not. You never know until you try.

Sometimes you just gotta have faith. 

 

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